North Korea, Best Korea!
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
