I wannas sexs uuuuu
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize
