"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You're breaking my sexual little heart
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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