you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
