covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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