He had one of those small greek statue penises
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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