Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
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so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
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You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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