3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
home. puking in laundry basket.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Randomize
