i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
