Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
