I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
