I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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