he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
