guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I am spending my child support on dildos
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
