Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
