Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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