I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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