Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
