I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
