u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
