Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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