I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
