sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
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After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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