Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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