I got chris browned last night
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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