i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize