You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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