the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
