Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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