I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
