We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
