Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I have post one night stand depression
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
