i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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