god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
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