would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize