My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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