remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
