I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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