If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
