think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
