Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
