so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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