I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
