Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
