so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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