I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
