Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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