I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
