And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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