While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
