thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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