Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
