I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
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