please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
