If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
