I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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