I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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