Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
