But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize