i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
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