I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
