If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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