So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
