But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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