Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
